A Balanced Life

Today was a super heavy downpour with several weather alerts and hail. I like rain but seeing the rain flood the streets brings a certain anxiety that only comes with extreme storms. But nonetheless, I learned to trust during these sometimes fearful moments of rainstorms. I learned to trust God, that I will be okay. And maybe, I can take that trust into the new season of life.

My life is going to change quite a bit, and I am not good with changes. I like the clinging onto the sameness that means predictability. It means, I already am comfortable doing the same thing, I do every day. Except my quality of life can use improvement and I did not know how to get it.

With my life changing, it also means, that I will need to change myself too. It will push me pass my boundaries but in a way, I can hopefully manage well.

With change, comes old wounds and old patterns that are also being pushed to the edge. I guess you can call this season, “growing pains.”
With a new season, I am reminded of the past. And that also means, I am reminded of the good times and the not so good times. I try to find some balance in this, because otherwise, I would too much in the past and that is not good for my mental health.

That also means, I need to let go of of the future also and not cling onto the past nor the future. Instead, this season calls for noticing how far, I have come.
Before, my mental health did not allow me to be present enough to listen to conversation with clarity. Now, I can pay attention to what is being said, versus be so fearful in the present moment, that I cannot even pay attention to what someone is instructing me to do. Today, I can participate in conversation that otherwise were not possible for me. The fear has shifted and because of that, I am learning to part-take in the world around me and contribute in the ways I am able.

So even though it is stormy in my heart, I am learning to trust, that I will be able to commit to the new season because it is the next best step for me.
Today, I can trust that just like the storms outside, the storms inside cleanse me clean of what used to block me from taking part in the world in a way that is meaningful to me. I can trust, that I will be able to do well, and it won’t be impossible for me. I used to think certain things were impossible for me, but instead of thinking that, I can focus on how many impossible things, I have done. So my score record shows, that it is possible. It is possible to have energy for the things I am called into this coming season. That it is possible, for me to take instructions and ask for help when I need it. Learning to manage a new version of my life means, that I also will need help in ways I have not received help because it will require a new version of me.

Thus, I believe, in the practical maybe boring way of living is the way to success. Commitment to live, a “boring,” life means, doing the same thing over which is where the fruit of spirit is. It is in the mundane every day tasks, that call on me to be, “more,” than what I am used to.

I have never been able to live in a calm and a peaceful way that includes a schedule and now, I am looking into a season of just that. A season that requires of me to be more responsible and basically, fill my days with tasks that bring on calmness in the busy world. Being busy in a calm way is something that is what I am learning to do and that is also a goal of mine. To be busy but calmly. To create a balanced life.

I am learning to create a life that is balanced. And this season calls for just that; a well-balanced life.
What exactly does a balanced life mean for me, is what I will be writing about next, as I explore the possibility that comes with a new season.

Xo,
Anika