Changes for an Autistic Person

It is the end of August, and it feels like this month just flew by. With September around the corner, it also means some changes are inevitable. Everyone is preparing for something that is coming up. Some are preparing for school, others are preparing for a new place to move into and start anew. In whichever category you find yourself in, it is nonetheless challenging. Not only are changes difficult for most people, they prove to be especially difficult for someone who is autistic. And since I am on the spectrum and might be moving into a place to call home, I am experiencing high levels of PDA and anxiety.

Perhaps it shouldn’t be that difficult, but it is. Thinking about relocating is a big deal on its own. But this time, I am doing it safely and calmly. An that was the entire goal. The goal was to transition into a new place calmly and smoothly, and I believe this opportunity to move into a new home suggests just that.

I realized, that whatever the transition would be, I would be anxious about it regardless. There will always be factors that will prove to make the move challenging but I will try to solve the issues as I go .

Possibly moving into a new place will also require a new version of me. I cannot be the same version as I have been until now. But something has got to give. I have not been feeling well this last week and it is difficult to make decisions from this place of lack. Lacking energy to do the basic tasks is tough on decision making. But nonetheless, I believe it is the right choice. And right choices don’t always feel fuzzy. Sometimes the right choices are just that, a right choice. Just like choosing to eat a salad instead of fries. That choice may be frivolous compared to the one I am making about potentially moving but making a right choice may not feel like anything. In fact, it may feel heavy but knowing you made that choice to benefit you long-term gives a certain satisfaction that fries cannot give.

Afterall, making a right decision means I am going to be okay for long-term, and not just for a season. It means a place that will be my home. And with the help from my family, my possibly new place can start to feel like a new home.

Xo,
Anika