Motivated and Medicated

I am thankful to have such fast-acting health care because without it, my life would be much more difficult.
Without the proper care, I would not be as motivated to complete the tasks that need to get done plus add additional to-do lists into the mix. And by additional to-do lists, one of the tasks is a job. A part-time job that is. There are a few changes happening in my life right now, and I am thankful, to have the right care for my overall wellbeing, that it makes my life manageable.

I wanted to add a little more to my days because I did not have enough confidence due to the lack of certain things, like a job that provides me with a sense of accomplishment during my days. I was quite down because I did not have the every-day reward after I have accomplished the things that other people accomplish. And having a job is one of the things that I want because it makes me more like everyone else. Not having a job, makes me feel like I have nothing to offer to the society and that is not the best feeling. I have had parttime jobs before, but not having a job for a while does come with nerves about being good enough for what is coming next.

I hope that, whatever comes next, will give me a sense of accomplishment at the end of my days and will bring me the type of confidence I am looking for. The type of confidence that you get from when you know you have done a good job and are rewarded for it just like others. Because after all, even a person on the spectrum has something to bring to the table at the end of the day. It just might take a while to find it, but everyone deserves a reward for their time, no matter how little their capacity might be, they want to live a life with a meaning.

Xo,
Anika